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...what do i do?

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whynot	...what do i do?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 12 (10/27/09 22:18:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : None I'm 21. And yeah, I need help with a lot of things, because people do things for me instead of helping me because it's easier for them to just skip dealing with me and get it done themselves. I got approved for disability because I can't work, but I'm living in the house I grew up in being abused. I DON'T want to be here. It's toxic to be here. Every morning I wake up, go out of my room, and see where i was thrown into a door then strangled. I go upstairs, I see where I was held to a chair and told over and over and over how f*****g worthless I was. As much as I can deal with these feelings, it's still hard. Today my mother took her lunch break to go with me to the social security office, because they called me today. She left me bawling in the parking lot, and told me if I wasn't okay to drive, then I should probably just sit in my car and wait until I could. Now, 8 hours later, she comes home to tell me that I'm too old to keep asking for help. I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR HELP SINCE I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. Doctor after doctor just seems to feel bad for me, and 2 psychiatrists have told me that I have too many problems for them to help, and they don't think I'll find someone who will be able to help. I don't want to die. I just want to be happy. I want a family, and I want a house, and I want to be happy. It's all just too far out of reach, and it's all too much of a fairytale for me now. If I can't get what I want, is there any point to stick around? I'm just let down over and over, and people tell me I'm just too messed up or I'm not good enough. I can't help but to think that this is all I have in store for the rest of my life... I can't ask you guys to help, because apparently I'm too old to keep asking for help... so I don't really know what I'm asking for... ... :'(
lauren.myownbusiness		#1	[-]
Posts: 128 (10/28/09 12:35:17) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm 25 and I feel like family wants to help but at some point there like you need to move out now you need responsibilities blah, blah, blah. It's like yes I want to support myself too and have money coming in but I just can't seem to keep my focus, I fall apart after a break up, and therapy has brought up alot of unresolved issues back up in my face. I don't really want to work myself I'm lucky that I got some temporary work being a transcriber typing things up on my home computer so I don't have to deal with people. Your situation sounds tough but keep your head up. Sometimes it's like you could feel personally like you accomplished so much and your proud of yourself up to this point but people on the outside have different standards they compare you to. If I tried to measure up to peoples standards I would never be happy with myself and who I am. Focus on getting to know yourself and finding your identity. In my opinion your 20's is the age where you have to figure out your place in the world. Some people get married and have kids, some climb the corporate ladder, some travel the world, some drop out of college, some switch college majors, some move back in with parents, other move out for the first time....you see where I'm going with this? Everyone has a different path there life will take them. For all you know you could be a write or something who knows? You have your youth and you have lots of possibilities in front of you. Keep searching for the right therapist until you find someone who you connect with and you feel can help you reach your goals.
Cath37		#2	[-]
Posts: 4 (10/28/09 15:26:23) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Well , I think 21 is young! I feel badly that you are being treated like crap. At least you did win your disability claim. Maybe this can be your way out? If I were you, I would look into the possibility of low income housing in your area. Apartment housing. Apartment housing that goes by income based. you do not need to live in this toxic environment. Not one bit . Yo need to get out of there. Can you live on your own in a one bedroom apt? how does that sound? Check into low income apts . Get on the waiting list. Are you managing your own Social security funds? If so, than this can be a lot easier for you to move forward in your life. Do you have someone that can help you move forward in your life? Seriously help you get out of this bad home life? The way you descibed it is terrible. If you can , I would really try hard to get out , and manage on your own? I hope the best for you. Do not let anybody drag you down. that is just awful what they did to you.
whynot		#3	[-]
Posts: 13 (10/28/09 17:12:08) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thank you so much for the replies. Cath - I am in charge of my own social security funds, and I know I can live on my own because I lived in an apartment with 2 of my friends when I was still going to college. Living alone would be much better than this, and I would be in disability housing, so it would be with all the old people or people in wheelchairs, not many young people live in disability housing but I'm not really tied to any area, so after I get my first check I'll look into what I can do for housing, because all 3 of my doctors have told me I'm never going to get better by living here. Lauren - You're right. Everyone chooses different paths, and I think it's definitely time for me to get going with SOMETHING. I transferred school to take classes online, but other than my classes I'm completely lost. A path is something I need to find. Wish I had someone to help me find one, but hopefully I'll figure it out.
scrip50		#4	[-]
Posts: 531 (10/31/09 06:50:37) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I think twenty one is young too. I believe you deserve to be somewhere safe where you can move forward in whatever direction you decide on. It's alright to start out in shared disabilty accommodation at first, people of other age groups and with other types of disability are just that- people. Someone in a wheelchair may become a life long friend. Someone older may be very patient and kind. Don't write off any opportunity to get yourself on the road to health and happiness. Sharing the costs can be a good way to start out. I hope you get to do and be all that can be.

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