i was diagnosed with BPD and depression about 2 years ago and for about a year after that i was on every kind of medication imaginable (lamictal, topamax,
prozac, etc). the medicine never really seemed to help me (my philosophy was if the medicine isn't working, then it's not my problem...and i made no
effort to change my behavior). i treated my fiance like crap (even hitting him). when he finally decided to leave me i went CRAZY. and i stopped taking my
medicine. i was in a deep dark hole for several months. then one day, out of the blue, i decided to educate myself and pull myself out of the hole i was in. i
decided that i wasn't doing anyone any good. after that, i really controlled my behavior and started trying to get my ex back. everytime i get close to
getting him back, i get overcontrolling and he slips away again...so here is the main point of this post:
i have been really controlling my BPD for several months but this last week i have been a complete trainwreck. today i wasn't even able to go to my
classes. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO BEING AS BAD AS I WAS...but I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK ON MEDS BECAUSE I'LL FEEL LIKE I FAILED...but i want to be
able to show my ex that i've changed and win him back.
is it a good idea to go back on meds?
or should i just keep educating myself and making an harder effort to change?
what are some good things to read?
thanks!
sarah
Home | BPD Bookstore | BPD Articles | BPD Research | BPD Today Advocacy Program
Family Section | BPD Survey | Clinician Section | BPD Newsletter | Locate a Therapist | About | Contact
i'm not sure what to do
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 thesunnyside17 |
i'm not sure what to do |
Lead | |
|
Posts: 2 (10/08/09 15:33:25) |
|
||
|
Qelyn |
|||
|
Posts: 1046 (10/09/09 08:19:26) |
Hi,
I do believe we need meds for symptom control and to slow our thinking so we can get to where we can work on things rather than battling symptoms all of the time..... I take an antidepressant and an atypical antipsychotic...... The atypicals are important because they slow thinking, and help with perception problems, they also even out moods so that we are more even keeled making it easier to take constructive criticism etc..... My life was drastically improved with the addition of medications along with the work it takes to start the trait changes necessary to get better .... From what I have been reading I think BPD also has a chemical imbalance component to it, I think it is an overabundance of dopamine which effects our ability to perceive things correctly...... Too much dopamine seems to be a contributing factor in mental illness's with psychotic aspects, at least that is what I have taken away from what I have been reading.... So medication is pretty essential in the treatment of BPD in my opinion..... So far the best book I have read for BPD is "A new hope for borderline personality disorder" I found it to be informative without being too technical..... It also has a chapter for family members.... Q |
||
|
thesunnyside17 |
|||
|
Posts: 5 (10/09/09 19:45:55) |
Thanks alot! i am really going to consider going back on medication.
|
||
