HUGE dissatisfaction with my personal appearance
tendency for dependency: anytime I can get my hands on any drug (prescription mostly) as long as its a "downer" I go for it
Confusion: I used to tell myself that my homosexuality was a phase and everyone questions theirs. But I find myself continuing to vacillate between straight/lesbian/bisexual
I wanted to be a Dr, yet Im not so sure anymore. The only thing keeping me consistent with studies is my motivation to please my family. I cant let them down and I am the 1st one with a shot at making a good life.
Sometimes I think its a calling for me to study medicine, sometimes its music, or psychology or writing
I play "roles" such as sometimes I wear makeup and dress cool, sometimes I "don't give a good damn how I look"
When I see a person having good potential as a friend, I immediately envision them as my lover within maybe minutes of meeting them and I assume they feel the same way
I could get so excited about something one day and the next it wont interest me
When I hear people laughing I assume its about me even if they dont know me
When I am alone I get depressed
I think I am insignificant unless I am occupied/doing something
Alot of times I feel out of place no matter who I am with
When I like someone, I get jealous of everyone else in their lives
I pretend to be strong so that I dont get embarrased and people dont think Im incompetent
I imagine suicide often
I daydream every minute
I hate myself




