My name is RON I am 32. I live in Indiana.
I have 2 autistic sons from different mothers. One I see on a regular basis, the other she wont let me. Nothing to do with my DX, just personal reasons.
Environmental? Genetic? I dunno... Never concerned myself with it, either way they have autism. And I am done having children.
My oldest son is fine, 3 years on honor role multiple time Student of the month, and a GREAT kid.
My illness rared it's ugly head when I was young. A life of School Yard bullying, Open heart surgery, and never being accepted until I was 16!
Then I found drugs, music, and a clique of misfits who took me in.
Since then I have had ton of bad experiences in life. Death of loved ones, broken relationships, children kept from me out of spite. (Nothing to do with my DX I must stress)
Currently just came out of my 2nd attempt at a bad relationship, which caused me to start acting out in fits of rage. She could trigger me before. And both times we split up, I was in her face screaming because she wont listen to reason. In my head, I don't know what was up. I lost control, screamed at her, and told her to get the F out and never come back.
Well, she took my son, and wont let me see him. Even though she sells drugs, buys drugs, and abuses drugs. Falls asleep with cigarettes in bed, and burns stuff. I am the wrong one. She suffers from "Fibromyalgia" which, in her case, is an excuse to NEVER do anything with the family and to abuse drugs. which in turn caused me to abuse drugs to deal with her stresses.
I am away from her, 3 weeks now, and it has gotten easier. Allot of other stresses have been dumped in my lap. Eviction due to NO MONEY. (Thanks bush) and waiting on my SSI to go through. It is the only hope I have for my kids to have money and me to get better. Once I go into remission, I am off the SSI and going back to doing what I love. Creating music, art and short films. It is the only thing that brings me great pride. My friends come over and request songs I WROTE and they love them. That told me, I have some kind of talent here.
None the less, I am a cutter... (2 weeks with no cutting though) and a drinker. 2 beers a night, keep me calm. Not the best thing, but I am tired of being an unhappy, sober wreck. I do not ABUSE drugs anymore, nor was my problem before a threat to anyone but myself. PILLS, thats my niche... Chronic back pain, which is backed with DX of Degenrative Arthuritis and my spine does not move from my neck to the middle of my back. YEA, thats great!
This is my story, I am making a short film and have created a music video to a song of mine happiness. I am glad that my DX has allowed me to share the song with those that relate.
I have a blog as well. Mr on The border blog
Hope to meet some great people here, and get through this unscathed.
Peace and Love ya'll
Ron
I have 2 autistic sons from different mothers. One I see on a regular basis, the other she wont let me. Nothing to do with my DX, just personal reasons.
Environmental? Genetic? I dunno... Never concerned myself with it, either way they have autism. And I am done having children.
My oldest son is fine, 3 years on honor role multiple time Student of the month, and a GREAT kid.
My illness rared it's ugly head when I was young. A life of School Yard bullying, Open heart surgery, and never being accepted until I was 16!
Then I found drugs, music, and a clique of misfits who took me in.
Since then I have had ton of bad experiences in life. Death of loved ones, broken relationships, children kept from me out of spite. (Nothing to do with my DX I must stress)
Currently just came out of my 2nd attempt at a bad relationship, which caused me to start acting out in fits of rage. She could trigger me before. And both times we split up, I was in her face screaming because she wont listen to reason. In my head, I don't know what was up. I lost control, screamed at her, and told her to get the F out and never come back.
Well, she took my son, and wont let me see him. Even though she sells drugs, buys drugs, and abuses drugs. Falls asleep with cigarettes in bed, and burns stuff. I am the wrong one. She suffers from "Fibromyalgia" which, in her case, is an excuse to NEVER do anything with the family and to abuse drugs. which in turn caused me to abuse drugs to deal with her stresses.
I am away from her, 3 weeks now, and it has gotten easier. Allot of other stresses have been dumped in my lap. Eviction due to NO MONEY. (Thanks bush) and waiting on my SSI to go through. It is the only hope I have for my kids to have money and me to get better. Once I go into remission, I am off the SSI and going back to doing what I love. Creating music, art and short films. It is the only thing that brings me great pride. My friends come over and request songs I WROTE and they love them. That told me, I have some kind of talent here.
None the less, I am a cutter... (2 weeks with no cutting though) and a drinker. 2 beers a night, keep me calm. Not the best thing, but I am tired of being an unhappy, sober wreck. I do not ABUSE drugs anymore, nor was my problem before a threat to anyone but myself. PILLS, thats my niche... Chronic back pain, which is backed with DX of Degenrative Arthuritis and my spine does not move from my neck to the middle of my back. YEA, thats great!
This is my story, I am making a short film and have created a music video to a song of mine happiness. I am glad that my DX has allowed me to share the song with those that relate.
I have a blog as well. Mr on The border blog
Hope to meet some great people here, and get through this unscathed.
Peace and Love ya'll
Ron
