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God is not nice God is like a parent, unconditional love, but allows us to learn from our mistakes and doesn't coddle us or micromanage our lives.....

In some ways God is cruel, but we don't understand the big picture like God does, we cannot see as far as God does...... God is subtle and nudges us, sends us things we need in ways that are not easy to see, in the form of choices.....

God expects us to grow and learn, and there are plenty of times that growth comes from pain.....

I understand this better as a parent, there are things I have to let my children fall into and then find their way out of..... I have to let my children learn by themselves in age appropriate ways..... But at the end of the day I am there to listen and understand how they feel about the lessons they have had to learn.....I cannot fix the relationships my kids get into, I cannot hold their hands and force them in the right direction..... If I do they only end up making the same mistakes over and over again..... Sometimes we have to let our kids get near the hot stove so they understand the heat can and will in fact burn them......

Emotionally this has been the most difficult thing I have had to do with my oldest child, physically with my middle child..... My oldest child is emotionally clumsy, she makes mistakes often, my middle child is physically clumsy I used to worry incessantly that CPS was going to be called on me due to her bumps, bruises, and some cases broken bones...... My youngest child has had to get consequences from his anger issues and I have had to stop short of saving him from himself..... It was so hard watching my middle child fall, bump into things, be in pain, it was even harder stopping myself from overprotecting her to keep her from climbing on things from playing hard with the other children...... At one point I was her soccer coach, she fell and broke her wrist (I didn't know it was broken until a couple days later) I had to make a decision to let her play even with the pain she was in(she made the decision to play), she played 3 games with a broken wrist...... Today she is healed up but she is one heck of a soccer player and determined to be as good as she can be pushing herself through things to be able to keep playing...... We hope her soccer will get her a scholarship in college one day..... Because I didn't keep her from falling and getting hurt she learned that while she has limits that she can push those limits and fight through the tough times trusting her own strength to survive those falls and get right back up again..... She is stronger because I let her fall down never stopping her from learning that physical actions can result in pain, that she can fight through pain, and learning to work within the bounds of her limitations to avoid doing it again......

So no God is not nice, God is love though...... Parental, unconditional love, and patience..... But one thing I know too, life is cruel and hard we have to have the ability to survive it and thrive in it...... The only way we survive it is to have the knowledge that we can, and the lessons I have been taught tell me I can survive in this world..... I survived childhood abuse, I survived being abandoned, I survived poverty..... God gave me the gift of survival and a trust in myself to be able to survive almost anything that life throws at me...... He gave it to me in the form of his splendid cruelty by letting me learn it on my own...... Because of Gods wise decision to allow me to experience difficulty I trust myself, and have faith in my own abilities......

However he also taught me to appreciate the good because of experiencing the bad..... Without knowing the bad I could never recognize and appreciate when things are good..... Today things are good..... And today I appreciate it.....

Q