Why do I feel like a little girl?

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LeoGirl1979	Why do I feel like a little girl?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 5 (07/31/07 21:31:28) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : None So I was just wondering... does everyone who has BPD feel like younger then everyone else your own age, and even younger then people who are younger then you? I am thinking about this alot lately since I come in contact with alot of people every day due to my job. They are usuallly around my age...28....and yet seem to be so...boring? or is it MATURE? I don't know, I feel like a little girl, it's like I need love, and it's funny, every man I have gotten close to have seen me as the type to "needs to be loved" and "need direction" and treat me like a just-for-fun girl. I know some "lost" traits are known in BPD girls, but really... does anybody else feel this way? Or am I just the only "lost little girl"? Who needs to grow up.... (open for criticism)!
MoStrange	Re: Why do I feel like a little girl?	#1	[-]
Posts: 467 (08/03/07 08:26:06) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi lLeoGirl I am 30 and I feel Like I'm 16. I seriously thought it was just me. I'm pretty sure it's due to the bpd though. I don't have a sense of self(i don't know what I like or want most of the time) and find myself mimicking and needing to be given specific directions on exactly what some one wants of me (which gets under my husbands skin sometimes but mostly he is indulgent) I hope this helps or at least lets you know there is someone else out there that feels the same as you.
Jennie	Re: Why do I feel like a little girl?	#2	[-]
Posts: 8 (08/03/07 20:03:59) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I am 35 and still think I am 25. I am starting a degree course in October at a college went to in 1990, how wierd is that! I think the trouble with BPD is that we lose a lot of time, therfore, do not be afraid to regain it.
tigha	Re: Why do I feel like a little girl?	#3	[-]
Posts: 3603 (08/05/07 07:16:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	in some ways I feel bit older,more boring,but emotionally I feel about 8years old mostly
Lunasfire	Re: Why do I feel like a little girl?	#4	[-]
Posts: 12 (08/11/07 20:36:45) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	MM, I was always so ashamed. I just turned 39 but at times I act/feel like I'm between 3-6 six old. My sons get embarrassed sometoimes but I just cant seem to help it. It just comes out. I dont think i feel so embarrased now that others are just like me. Lunasfire
joachim.borderlineperso...		#5	[-]
Posts: 2 (10/24/08 02:05:18) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	In answer to this,. yes. And try it with a mother who gets very angry every time I told her I am emotionally 12 yrs old, as that was the time traumas really began. Her attittude is 'no, you're not 12, you are a grown woman' blah. Totally non comprehending. And it is my cousin who was diagnosed with BPD
branjahsv		#6	[-]
Posts: 2 (10/27/08 20:43:39) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I can definitely relate. I am a guy and I do a good job of comparing myself to other people my age and I usually feel much less emotionally and physically mature than them. Most people say I really look young for my age and they say this a compliment. I don't know why but I have never really viewed it as a compliment. I guess I feel they are looking down on me. This is more than likely a symptom of my BPD. Just the comparing thing I go through drives me crazy and I am working on just accepting myself for who I am but also working on all the emotional stuff as well.
yoyogirl1957		#7	[-]
Posts: 68 (10/30/08 02:52:54) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	A marriage counselor and a therapist I had a couple of years ago told me that my mind is like a 7 year old in how I respond to my life experiences. This is a problem because I'm a 51 year old woman who is suppose to be able to act like an adult in the job world. I have a high little girl's voice and just recently I've become aware that I end a lot of statements that come out sounding like a question. I've actually had people over the phone ask for my parent or express shock that I wasn't a kid. My marriage counselor and my therapist told me that my mental development was arrested at about 7 years old and now that I've become aware of it, I have to work in therapy to advance developmentally so I can think like a mature adult.
beautifullyme		#8	[-]
Posts: 2 (11/12/08 05:21:05) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I feel however old the people around me are in terms of my attitude, but in my decision making sometimes I feel much, much younger than I am. I'm not quite sure why that is but it also causes me to feel inferior in a lot of situations. Extremely frustrating.
gypsy		#9	[-]
Posts: 320 (11/12/08 05:48:44) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I can relate, we are working through my "arrested development" stages in therapy too. I am always getting told I look young for my age.. I feel like a little girl in different situations...aargh! IM COMPLETELY DETERMINED TO GROW UP!! I've had a gutsfull of being so young and feeling so small and the world and other people looking so "big". My mission is to be a real woman darn it! A grown-up who can make real grown up decisions. yes that sounds GOOD!! Wishing you all the best guys n gals, (or should I say men and women lol) gypsy "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust
Lost Girl		#10	[-]
Posts: 3 (11/13/08 00:21:33) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I have always felt younger. I'm 27 this month and I feel 15 or so. I am not sure if I can make mature decisions or not. I try to, but even when I seem to be successful at it (like getting married) I later find out that it was, in fact, not mature. I puzzle myself. I think that in relationships it makes me feel so much more secure and safe to be a needy person and act like a little girl. I'm not sure I even want to change that about me. I had no idea it was connected to BPD though, that's news to me. This Little Lost Girl in me just wants to sit on your lap and be cuddled. sounds ridiculous, but it's true (sometimes). I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one. thank you leogirl.
Stebenjoe.openbpd		#11	[-]
Posts: 1 (11/22/08 03:30:15) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	My husband (who has BPD) has said the exact same thing. He feels intimidated around other adults, because he doesn't feel as mature as them. I think I can see improvement in the past year in that department, though, since we've talked about it. I was able to get him to see that other people his age and even older see him as a peer, not as a child. It's just in his mind. Yes, when he makes immature decisions, people will see them as immature decisions, but as a whole people see him as a mature adult. Anyway, maybe I explained it better to him, but I think the discussion really helped him to feel more his age. I've noticed a change, anyway (btw, he's 34). Course, he might disagree!
yoyogirl1957		#12	[-]
Posts: 81 (11/22/08 06:40:10) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Stebenjoe.openbpd, I just had a thought. I don't know if it would help your husband or not but here goes. Does he like role playing games and computer interactive games? My husband got introduced to them when he was "bored out of his mind" during his military service and he has been hooked since. Personally they bore me stiff, but my husband and his role playing buddies get together once a week for a night of racking up their points that their pretend scary dragon and troll creatures make for them, laughing, eating as much as they want of guy junk food and and having a night of innocent fun. The way they carry on until 1 or 2 in the morning makes me think that they are letting out their little boy inside that they have to hide in public. My husband says it helps him cope with all the adult stress he has to deal with during the week. I just wondered if your husband found a bunch of role playing buddies if he might feel like he has a group of men where he can be more comfortable? Just an idea.
Stebenjoe.openbpd		#13	[-]
Posts: 2 (11/25/08 03:18:42) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hey, I think you're on to something there, yoyogirl. He does like things like that. If he can get together with some guys from church and play war games he is in heaven. Before that, he would just play the ones on the computer with strangers but real life games with real live guys is so much better. I wish he could do it more often and will try to help with that. Thanks!
precisionfemale		#14	[-]
Posts: 5 (12/28/08 23:22:38) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I read in the book ''I hate you don't leave me'' that a symptom of BPD is emotional childishness and BPD's will go in and out of that mind state. I definatley snap in and out of 5 year old Debra...its a blessing to have this symptom...when I'm 5 the world is beautiful and wonderous. I sing and act like a happy child. I keep it hidden from the public mostly...but for all the hell BPD and depression causes in my life this one small thing is the only beautiful part of myself I have left. And it pops up and surprises me even on bad days sometimes. Although I also frustrate as easily as a 5 year old too. I draw a cartoon series of myself almost daily....drawn by the 5 year old me...its the life of ''Stick-Girl-debra'' and shows how BPD and depression rip me apart but then also illustrates these small moments of childish joy...like finding a pink fruit loop in a parking lot...a big deal to stick-girl-debra. And she sang a little song about it the rest of the day. (but I didn't eat it!)
ladyvet		#15	[-]
Posts: 3806 (01/03/09 07:57:56) Board Administrator and Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I've got a slightly different twist on this topic. On New Year's Day we visited my husband's brother, sister, and their families. John is 56, the oldest, I am 52 the same age as his sister, and his brother is 48 and his wife is 42. On the way home, John commented on how old all of his relatives looked, and how it made him feel older. He said I was the youngest looking and acting person at the gathering. He was sincere, and I took it as a great compliment and esteem booster. At my age, I am grateful for anything that gives me the appearance of youth. Emotional maturity is one thing, but I NEVER want to be treated as an old Children are so anxious to grow up and be treated as adults, and then there comes a time when it is desirable to turn back the clock and regain a youthful appearance and attitude. Why is it so difficult to just live in the moment and accept ourselves at the stage we are currently living in? Cindy All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all. -Cecil Frances Alexander
mom2simon		#16	[-]
Posts: 2 (01/06/09 17:47:18) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I am 30 and still feel 18. I am constantly told that I look younger than I am. I usually don't mind but what really irritates me is lately I can't seem to stop myself from saying it to others and then ask them to guess my age! I hate it because I feel like I'm trying to draw attention to myself and I am not like that. At least I don't want to be. Almost my whole my adult life, I physically looked like a 12 year old so that didn't help either. I do not act my age, I am very playful and spontaneous. I love having adventures and I'll pretty much go anywhere and try anything once!
Lost.cuttheignorance...		#17	[-]
Posts: 4 (01/25/09 02:13:12) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Emotionally speaking, yes. I've often felt like I'm a terrified little girl inside. In other ways though, I'm too mature and people often think I'm snooty and up tight. I don't know if thats how I actually am, or if I'm so ashamed of being a little girl inside that I go to extraordinary lengths to hide it from the rest of the world. It's hard to know what's me sometimes. I don't know. Inside, I often visualize myself as my child self, and it hurts so bad. I want to apologize to her for who I became. I can't say I ever really remember a time I wasn't strange or depressed or struggled to make friends and connections, but there must have been a time I was happier, more innocent. I don't know. I just look at pictures of the little girl I used to be, and I hate that I let her become me. It's so stupid really. Inside though, that girl's still there, and shes hiding in the croner cus shes terrified of the world. She's needy and afraid and lonely. And as much as I hate it, she's me.
Jason		#18	[-]
Posts: 15 (02/09/09 05:30:10) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I feel like a kid in a grown ups body soo outta place LeoGirl1979 its tarrafying and not at all fun.
DarSee		#19	[-]
Posts: 2 (02/10/09 03:59:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thank You! I am 44, provide support to "younger" professionals in my field, and have reached the top level of accomplishment available...but I feel so immature and like everyone around me is better at what we do. I feel like a lost little girl and I just want someone to take care of me. This is my first visit to this site, and I am so thankful to find people like me for the first time ever.
heavy heart		#20	[-]
Posts: 5 (04/15/09 01:44:36) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Yes, I can also relate to that! I've sat and thought about it before, too! I need to be frequently reminded of my responsibilties, what others expect from me, etc. In a lot of ways I feel too mature for the young age I am (22 shortly) but emotionally and how I react to things I feel much much younger... I have been told by others that at times I seem so mature but when I don't get what I want I seem like a little kid. I've actually read about this though! They say Borderlines seem "to not grow up" in a lot of ways. Take care. _______________________________________________________ " Told I talked too much, made too much noise... I took up a silent hobby -- bleeding. " -S. Marie

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