who B U ?

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Borderline One	Re: who B U	#41	[-]
Posts: 872 (02/25/07 22:22:15) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I forgot to talk about PETS!! I have two cats, Mufossa and Zazoo from the Lion King movie....... they are orange fat cats.. and my world, and a taco bell dog....... (I can't spell his breed) Family and Kids I am a single momma, (thank goodness) from a divorce with an abusive man who gave me three beautiful children, and one eldest son from a previous relationship. The kiddo's are 20,17,7,6. Christina low
safeatlast	I'm here...	#42	[-]
Posts: 78 (02/27/07 06:24:47) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: safeatlast (Ann) Gender: Female Age: 57 Birthday: August 25 Birthplace: central Texas, USA Current Location/hometown: southeast Texas, urban Your Heritage: French (Cajun), some German, English, other European Your Bedtime: ??? Lots of trouble with bedtime... Usually sleep around 2am-noon if schedule allows. How long have you known you have BPD: Unofficially diagnosed about 4 years ago. What stage of recovery are you in: Middle, I guess, but I have a lot of experience to share... My life has sort of been in three phases so far-- PHASE I was until I was about 38 years old... Grew up Catholic, college scholarship, engaged but broke it off 30 days before the wedding... 12 year career in a corporate environment, a career I had no passion for... Loved living in my own apartment, hope to do it again someday. I loved to take modern dance classes and yoga, would like to again. Used to play 12-string folk guitar. I still crochet afghans, like crossword and logic puzzles and jigsaw puzzles. Majored in physics, like to read about quantum theory, etc. PHASE II began by entering recovery because of the drinking of my 7-year-long boyfriend, then finding out my family of origin issues were more important... Within a year I began to have flashbacks of childhood incest... The depression worsened, PTSD became evident, and I've not held a traditional fulltime job with decent income since 1988. Switched careers (with part-time status and pay but usually fulltime work) to teaching Math at a community college. Close to 2 years homeless but never slept on the street or in a shelter (family and friends put me up)..... Continued therapy when I could afford it, lots of 12 step programs for support..... PHASE III is the current one----living in a rooming house (share kitchen and bath with 3 other people not of my choosing), but hoping to increase my income enough to have an apartment again (and a car) in a few years.... Beginning to integrate the confidence I felt before the memories (when my universe came apart and I started rebuilding it from scratch) with the memories and the reality that I WAS victimized. Have told best friends from college and high school about the incest (some of them knew my father, the main perp). Working on empowering myself, making my self and my life what I feel good about, planning to continue clearing away the wreckage of my past (including boxes in storage) to start a life that I truly enjoy and create for myself.
safeatlast	Re: EMOTICON TYPO!!	#43	[-]
Posts: 78 (02/27/07 06:29:48) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	In my bio I just posted, I had an accidental click just before I posted it----that "runhide " emoticon is NOT supposed to be there! I wonder what Freudian unconscious meaning that has?... or maybe the cigar is just a cigar.... Ann
safeatlast	Re: EMOTICON TYPO!!	#44	[-]
Posts: 78 (02/27/07 06:31:13) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	...and neither is the "THANK YOU" in that last post!! I guess I have a mouse problem in the emoticons.....
nimo82	Re: EMOTICON TYPO!!	#45	[-]
Posts: 595 (02/27/07 09:16:06) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	That's funny about the emoticon trouble. . .it is nice to meet you by the way Nina
bpdkitty	Re: EMOTICON TYPO!!	#46	[-]
Posts: 571 (02/27/07 22:03:16) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Borderline One: I forgot to talk about PETS too!! (Which is kinda funny since I am rather pet-obsessed "in real life"! ) I have three cats: Squeaky, the oldest, is 10. He has the softest black fur, and is kind of huge for a cat at 21 pounds! He loves to talk. Emmie, is about 6. She is striped with an orange-brown coat with dark stripes. She has very beautiful round green eyes. And is also rather fat at 16 pounds. Finally, my newest addition Itty Bitty Kitty is around 2 (I got her from someone who was moving and giving her away, so I dont know exactly, but the person said she was about a year old then). She is soooo cute she has SPOTS!!!! And she is so teeny with huge eyes. I also have 1 betta fish. I got him for john but I am going to keep him anyway. I looooove pets and would like to have many more, but alas I rent.... Bpdkitty "Years go by will I choke on my tears until finally there is nothing left. One more tragedy you know we're too easy..."
BPDpip	Re: who B U ?	#47	[-]
Posts: 1953 (03/07/07 23:33:44) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I thought I had done this but it was several years ago so here we go ... Name: Kristen Age: 30 Birthday: 12/9/76 Birthplace: Peoria, IL Current Location/hometown: N. Suburbs of Chicago currently Eye Color: hazel Hair Color: brunette Height: 5 ft 2 in Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: beats me, german I think Your Weakness: too many to list ... lol... cute boys on motorcycles would be one Your Perfect Pizza: cheese and sausage. Your favorite type of music: Totally depends on my mood. I like happy 80s music, punk, alternative, broadway, classical, basically everything except elevator music. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Save some money Thoughts First Waking Up: Crap, Im late AGAIN Your Bedtime: 11:00 on work nights Your Most Missed Memory: not sure Number of things in my Past I Regret: Several ... the biggest one probably being how unstable I was when with my ex-fiance Why are you here: for support, encouragement, etc. How long have you known you have BPD: around 5 years What stage of recovery are you in: beats me. Externally my life is much more stable than in the past few years although I've currently delved back into bpdland. Miscellaneous: diagnosed with bpd and depression around five years ago. Started coming to this site five years ago (migrated with Patty, I'm one of the older ones) I have a kitty named Bella whom I was told was a girl but turned out to be a boy. Put myself into rehab, and then a halfway house for four months and then an oxford house (recovery home for alcoholics/drug addicts) for a year and a half. Lived in an apartment through a mental health program for about a year and now I live all on my own in an apartment (with my cat of course, so maybe not all alone.) I have a B.A. in English (translation: poor starving writer) and I work in a library (translation: poor starving writer who isn't currently getting paid to write.) I think that's about it. If anybody wants to know anything else, just ask. And hello to all the newbies. Oh - and I'm sporadic. I tend to hang out here for a few months, go away for a few months, hang out, go away, etc. pip <BR><BR>"I can lose my hard earned freedom, if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my Revolution. I can learn to stand alone."
jj	Re: who B U ?	#48	[-]
Posts: 14 (03/17/07 19:37:51) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi I'm new so I'll join in on the introductions: I'm 49 (tho' I don't believe it) I live in a very rural area tho' I grew up right outside NYC. I am too isolated. I've never had any children 'cause I couldn't. I have one cat who I believe had PTSD! I have a so-called partner who is depressed and probably an alcoholic. I am a tattooist when I'm working. I love making things; knitting and quilting particularly. I just started making beaded necklaces, which is fun and easy. I'm in an intensive outpatient program right now and am switching to one that is strictly DBT this coming week. Am nervous about "fitting in". I loved the staff and other patients in the program I'm now leaving. I was diagnosed with BPD a long time ago but ignored it 'cause I and my psychiatrist thought my PTSD was a worse problem and I didn't have enough of the BPD symptoms to bother addressing it. WRONG! I take seroquel and klonopin and lots of natural herbal supplements. Recently, my seroquel dosage was doubled and none of my clothes fit. I related when I read whoever said they missed being anorexic. I do, too. But I love to eat. That seroquel stinks as far as that goes: I'm hungry to the point of having a growling stomach almost all the time! Yoga makes me feel much better. It's the best thing I've found to help me. I do very gentle yoga. I need some cardiovascular exercise, tho! My illness has affected my life terribly. It's so frustrating 'cause when I feel good, I'm very productive, funny and I think I appreciate the little things in life more than the average person. But I can go from feeling terrific to feeling suicidal in a heartbeat. I've learned to just watch my thoughts and not do anything about them, but I hate the thoughts. Recently, I learned that "hating" my thoughts was practically the same as hating myself and I'm trying to digest that piece of info, which I think is right on. I love music of all kinds from Baroque music (I'm a big fan of Bach) to death-metal! I'm a real kid when it comes to music. I've led a pretty interesting life and I'm looking forward to more of it, even tho' some days I feel hopeless. For instance, today I had a pretty good day but something set me off and I'm very depressed right now. So, I did a guided metitation and got on line to post here for the first time. I'm a bit afraid of someone figuring out who I am in real life. I didn't realize I was paranoid! But it would be good, actually, now that I think of it. I'm so afraid of anyone knowing I have BPD. It seems like it's such a stigmatized diagnosis. Nowadays, everyone seems to be able to say they're bipolar or depressed but NOONE ever tells anyone they have BPD. And twice as many people have it!!!
pamplemousse	Re: who B U ?	#49	[-]
Posts: 34 (03/20/07 14:14:26) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I just posted an introduction in the main thread, but will fill this out as well. . . Name: Um, let's just go with pamplemousse for now. . . Age: 30 Birthday: 7/3/76 Birthplace: Missouri Current Location/hometown: Ontario Eye Color: grey Hair Color: black Height: 5 ft 5 in Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: German. Although I've started saying "pan-ethnic." Your Weakness: I don't have just one weakness. I have four. "Four?" Yes, four. Fire, booze, men, and fire. "You said fire twice." I REALLY like fire. On a more serious note. . .food and alcohol. Your Perfect Pizza: St. Louis style (cracker thin crust & provel cheese), with tomatoes, mushrooms, hot peppers, pepperoni, extra cheese & extra sauce Your favorite type of music: Alternative, also folk style singer-songwriter stuff. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Find the joy in sex again Thoughts First Waking Up: Do I go to the gym, or do I stay here and cuddle? Your Bedtime: Later than it should be, lately. . .normally 10 pm or so. Your Most Missed Memory: Not 100% sure what this means. . .I miss my dad a lot; I also have a several-year period of my life for which I have no memories whatsoever, so I guess you could say I miss those memories? Number of things in my Past I Regret: Any time I have hurt someone else. . .also some of the risks I did NOT take due to fear, etc. Why are you here: To have contact with other people who have experienced the types of things I have - hopefully give and also receive support / encouragement. How long have you known you have BPD: 1 1/2 years What stage of recovery are you in: Don't really know. . .pretty stable / high-functioning most of the time, but with slips. . .working on it, I guess. . .
black orchid	Re: who B U ?	#50	[-]
Posts: 10 (03/27/07 17:54:24) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	hey - this is my first post! Age: 19 Birthday: 1987 Birthplace: Manchester, UK Current Location/hometown: University Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Purple Height: 5 ft 10 in Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: British as far as i know - although alot of weird people tell me i look oriental (chinese/thai) because of my eyes Your Weakness: too many things Your Perfect Pizza: Pizza hut stuffed crust (to myself!) with mushrooms, peppers, red onion and double black olives Your favorite type of music: Definitely alternative! pretty much anything though, my itunes can change from nine inch nails to giant drag to jeff buckley to the black keys to various motown..... Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: rebuild friendships Thoughts First Waking Up: whats the time and i can go back to sleep? Your Bedtime: pretty late... Your Most Missed Memory: being young enough that things didnt matter Number of things in my Past I Regret: number? innumerable Why are you here: was hoping to find people to talk to about this who understand whats really going on How long have you known you have BPD: i think i figured it out at about 16, otherwise a week What stage of recovery are you in: high functioning but secretly totally falling appart
nimo82	Re: who B U ?	#51	[-]
Posts: 595 (03/27/07 21:21:31) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi Black Orchid. . .welcome. . .I can relate to being high functioning, but secretly falling apart Nina
Catach	Re: Sorry it's so long.	#52	[-]
Posts: 728 (04/02/07 02:46:44) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: Cathy Age:35 Birthday: 6 February Birthplace: Queensland Australia Current Location/hometown: Brisbane, QLD Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blond Height: 5'8" Right Handed or Left Handed: Left Your Heritage: English, Scottish, Irish and a few other i am sure Your Weakness: Hamburgers Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni's ham and pineapply Your favorite type of music: I like it all (except Rap) Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Work with Children Services Thoughts First Waking Up: So much to do Your Bedtime: Generally about 10.00pm Your Most Missed Memory: Running freely through the bush when I was a child - not a care in the world. Why are you here? To make friends and get an understanding of what is happening to me. Big question - that I don't have an answer too.... I am working on it I guess
tomorrow is a long time	Re: who B U ?	#53	[-]
Posts: 1 (04/02/07 12:03:48) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	hi? this is my first post..and i've never really had people to talk to about this before Age: 20 Birthday: 1987 Birthplace: minnesota Current Location: at college! graduate in december Eye Color: dark dark brown Hair Color: um...i shaved my head? but it's coming in dark i miss my hair...it was beautiful Height: 5 ft 8 Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: um...native american? german? i have eyes that dont match anyone though Your Weakness: ebay! tall thin guys...cookie dough! Your Perfect Pizza: bleh...anything but the place i worked at for 2 years Your favorite type of music: pretty chill...josh ritter, nickel creek, great big sea, bob dylan...love country! christian Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: rebuild friendships; run a marathon (or at least a half!) Thoughts First Waking Up: 5 more mins...please! Your Bedtime: pretty late...depending on the night Your Most Missed Memory: times with my ex... seeing penguins at fota, seeing the ocean and seals in oregon! Number of things in my Past I Regret: there are plenty of things that weren't smart...but they've all helped me become who i am today Why are you here: ive worn out my friends and am feeling alone How long have you known you have BPD: i self-diagnosed myself a long time ago? but last week was when a doctor first said it What stage of recovery are you in: confused? on pills... not working...failing school...losing friends...but happy?
nimo82	Re: who B U ?	#54	[-]
Posts: 595 (04/02/07 14:53:39) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi, Welcome to the site
TraciG5	Re: who B U ?	#55	[-]
Posts: 28 (04/16/07 16:05:37) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Age: 30 Birthday: 1976 Birthplace: Ohio Current Location: Ohio Eye Color: blue Hair Color: Blonde Height: 5'5" Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: native american among other mysterious elements Your Weakness: too many to list Your Perfect Pizza: Pineapple, ham, canadian bacon, extra cheese. Your favorite type of music: All genres... not much on rap Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: contentness Thoughts First Waking Up: Coffee... I need coffee! Your Bedtime: around 1am Your Most Missed Memory: My girls as babies. Number of things in my Past I Regret: None. Why are you here: Need to talk to people that understand what having this illness does to a person. How long have you known you have BPD: I've known something was wrong for years... but just recently found out it has a name. What stage of recovery are you in: confused? early
amarnold	this is who i am	#56	[-]
Posts: 98 (04/17/07 20:10:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: Anita Age:29 Birthday: June 18 Birthplace: Louisville KY Current Location/hometown: Indianapolis IN Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown Height: 5'5 Right Handed or Left Handed: righty Your Heritage: I am not sure-I'm adopted & bmother could not remember who my bfather was Your Weakness: sleeping & eating Your Perfect Pizza: pinepple & ham Your favorite type of music: r&b, hip-hop, & rap Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: lose some weight & stay in therapy Thoughts First Waking Up: I gotta go to this damn job again & the daily countdown to the end of the school year Your Bedtime: 10 or 11P Your Most Missed Memory: i don't get this one Number of things in my Past I Regret: too many things to list Why are you here? to make friends that can help me cope How long have you known you have BPD? 1 yr July What stage of recovery are you in? I am just getting over a denial combined with anger stage and think I am ready to really concentrate on getting better-I can't keep living like this
nimo82	Re: this is who i am	#57	[-]
Posts: 595 (04/18/07 11:52:51) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Wow. . .Awesome. . .I live in Louisville too! Finally someone else too!
amarnold	hey!	#58	[-]
Posts: 98 (04/19/07 13:57:06) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I was glad to see someone else from the area
amarnold	i can relate	#59	[-]
Posts: 98 (04/19/07 14:04:35) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I can relate to to wearing friend out with the drama or problems My best friend told me in the middle of a major crisis in the fall of last year that she had been avoiding my emails and phone calls because she couldnt deal with what I was going through anymore. I felt really alone then, she was the only one I could really talk to. Well welcome. I am new here as well.
tinkerbellnc2003	Re: this is who i am	#60	[-]
Posts: 159 (04/27/07 18:21:03) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: Debbie Age:32 Birthday: september 28 Birthplace: NC Current Location/hometown: close to charlotte Eye Color:green Hair Color: brown w/ blonde highlights Height: 5'5 Right Handed or Left Handed: righty Your Heritage: german i think Your Weakness eer Your Perfect Pizza: dont like pizza very often...homeade is best Your favorite type of music: depends on what mood im in...from dance/hiphop to country...i like it all Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: to make my relationship with my husband better and to hopefully make me better!!!! Thoughts First Waking Up: its 7 already!!! Your Bedtime: usually pretty late...between 12 and 1 if im lucky Your Most Missed Memory: being a happy person Number of things in my Past I Regret: 67889 Why are you here? to know that im not alone in bpd land...to learn from others and help other ppl if i can How long have you known you have BPD? 4 yrs What stage of recovery are you in? still the beginning

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