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Destroyed Doll		#181	[-]
Posts: 1 (10/14/09 15:16:26) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: Beth Age:20 Birthday: April 30th Current Location/hometown: West midlands Uk Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Black Height: 5ft 7" Kids?: Nope. Right Handed or Left Handed: Lefty Your Heritage: British Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get a job Thoughts First Waking Up: Meh Number of things in my Past I Regret: hahahaha. Too many to list. Why are you here? Find some other BPD suffers. Have others I can talk to. How long have you known you have BPD? 6 years, diagnosed 2 and a half. What stage of recovery are you in? Nearly "recovered" Hahaha. But that's a vague term.
Destroyed Doll		#182	[-]
Posts: 2 (10/14/09 15:17:56) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	So yeah I'd just kinda like to find some one to chat to on the bad days, and I'm always here for others who need to chat.
whynot		#183	[-]
Posts: 1 (10/16/09 12:57:12) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Just found this site, and it's nice to not feel so alone!! Here's some about me: Age: 21 Birthplace: Boston Current Location/hometown: right outside Boston Eye Color: they change color, so i never know Hair Color: brunette Height: 5'8 Your Heritage: mostly irish, and some french canadian Your Weakness: ice cream sundaes, fairytale promises Your Perfect Pizza: extra extra cheese and pepperoni Your favorite type of music: Usually rock. But depending on my mood I'll switch it up Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: complete all my classes Thoughts First Waking Up: well, another day of nothing Your Bedtime: whenever I fall asleep, sometimes 9pm sometimes 7am Your Most Missed Memory: my grandmother <3 Number of things in my Past I Regret: I used to say I didn't regret anything, because it made me who I am today. But I'm not so sure I like who I am today, and there's deff. some things I could have lived easier without. Why are you here: to know I'm not alone, and that other people make it through the day with the same thoughts i have How long have you known you have BPD: about a year What stage of recovery are you in: ugh. not far enough. currently it's taking over my life, and I'm not a fan Pets: one kitty, Moonfire is his name, and he is a princess. (if you play video games you might know the name) Things that calm me down: running in the rain, naps, cuddling, kids movies Anything else? just ask
rocksrock		#184	[-]
Posts: 1 (10/20/09 05:30:21) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I am new to this site so don't even know if i am doing this right. When i see the words on the screen from overs, it feels like I am reading a book on my life. I think now I just talk about me. So here goes. I finished college after a really hard year loosing all my friends. Went to university and dropped out 3/4 of the way through first year of studying Math, Physics, Geography and Geology. Then got a job and left that after I got put into hospital. Just after I left I got sent back. After a month in a short term ward I got sent home as there was no room for me in any other places. Then i got taken to the hospital by the police and just avoided getting put back in the psyc ward. I notice someone say they were on seroquel which I have been put on too. I have put on 15kg in 2 months after starting it. I never put on weight before in my life like that. I went to my 7th psychiatrist in the last 6 months today. That's my mental health. I have no friends. I just broke up with my partner, i feel so much better now. My ex got all the friends, even though he cheated on me and messed with my already crazy mind, I only have my family, but that is luckier than some. I am a part time university student. I am studying geology. I am really into reading and art at the moment. I live in New Zealand. Yeah... that little place at the bottom of the world. I love Antarctica. ... I think I have just done this all wrong... Oh well. Maybe this will get me more friends a people to talk to with the same mind problems.
rocksrock	Twins	#185	[-]
Posts: 2 (10/20/09 05:37:49) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Wow you sound like me. Can't finish anything or be strong when I comes to working on goals
Destroyed Doll		#186	[-]
Posts: 3 (10/20/09 17:18:27) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm ace at starting things.... Just not so good with the follow through, my therapy how ever is something I've been pushed from all sides to start and finish. And to be honest, it's worth it. Fucking hard slog. Painful, but the way I look at it is I'm still here. I didn't manage to kill myself, so there must be something more. And it's nice when the good days start out weighing the bad, but it doesn't last for ever. Does any one know if you ever get to stop fighting?
rocksrock		#187	[-]
Posts: 3 (10/20/09 17:38:32) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I no its so hard but you have to find things that keep you going for me at the moment its Art and great books. You just have to find your thing, you personal therapy. But don't do what I would always do in the past, start everything all at once like sport and groups and teams and try living like that. Just one thing at a time
Destroyed Doll		#188	[-]
Posts: 4 (10/20/09 19:13:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm actually doing the total opposite and doing nothing. I know I'm not going to stick at anything so there is no point in starting anything lol. I guess at the moment my aim is to stop feeling like crap, at least I'm spending time with friends. I never used to leave the house when I felt this bad. More therapy of the CBT kind tomorrow. I think I'd rather cut off my arse and sit in vinegar =) Wooo. So have you actually had a diagnosis of BPD? It sucks. And having looked at your profile I get the anything that stops you thinking I can't deal with silence it drives me nuts it turns my head into a play ground of... it used to be chaos, but it's not any more and I can't get it back it's just horrid. If you wanna chat, drop me a message on here.
zoeohnoey		#189	[-]
Posts: 2 (11/10/09 05:13:24) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Name: zoe Age: 18 Birthday: February 18th Birthplace: Massachusetts Current Location/hometown: hah, same. Eye Color: greyish green blue. Hair Color: blonde. Height: don't have much of that. Right Handed or Left Handed: righty Your Heritage: italian, irish. Your Weakness: too many to list honestly. Your Perfect Pizza: buffalo chicken pizza, i feel pretty bad for the regions where this kind of pizza is not available. Your favorite type of music: is it cliche to say everything except country? oh well. everything except country. especially red hot chili peppers & tool. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: getting off my feet, finally Your Bedtime: whenever. it can be from 9 pm, to 11 pm, to 5 am, to not sleeping at all. depends on how the day's gone. Your Most Missed Memory: last summer. Number of things in my Past I Regret: a number? probably around 4,328. Why are you here: to meet people with BPD, maybe understand it better. understand them & possibly even myself better. What stage of recovery are you in: ages 11-15 were miserable. 16-17 were great, until the end of my 17th year. 17-18 hasn't been so great. but maybe i'm improving? i feel like i am. sometimes at least. that's better than never, right?
Faceless		#190	[-]
Posts: 3 (12/01/09 09:19:00) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi!Glad to see you all! Name:Anatoliy... Tolia or Anatol if you want. Age: 28 Birthday: 15 February Birthplace: Sankt Petersburg Current Location/hometown: Sankt Petersburg Eye Color: Blue/grey Hair Color: Brown Height: about two meters Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Russian Your Weakness: beautifull things, cinema and good peoples Your Perfect Pizza: even dont know... something with meat and chees ) Your favorite type of music: im meloman.I love different music.Probably im just dont know what im love... dont love rough music.Trash etc Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Im want stop feeling loads of rage for peoples who dont do someting bad for me.Stop my fear.Understand what im love and what not.One word - im want be health. Thoughts First Waking Up: smoke and sigaretts Number of things in my Past I Regret: Some bad words too my girls, too my friends... Why are you here: To meet other people like me. How long have you known you have BPD: Like a 1-2 years. What stage of recovery are you in: Im very bad feeling yourself and this past long-long time.Seems im need a lot of time for recovery.
raychet.openbpd		#191	[-]
Posts: 1 (12/15/09 13:58:08) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm playing copy paste, registration took all the energy out of me Name:Rachel Age: 25 Current Location/hometown: Kansas City Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: feel like me again Thoughts First Waking Up: oh I hope Anna is up so she can get the baby so I can lay here for two more minutes..... Number of things in my Past I Regret: Don't make me count them! A lot of choices of who I've spent my time and energy on, wasting time after high school Why are you here: To meet other people like me, to get help to be who my family needs me to be How long have you known you have BPD: Four years? I was diagnosed as depressed in high school, but my psychiatrist ended up blaming everything on my lack of religious background... BS. What stage of recovery are you in: Confusion. I'm still in denial of how to get help, or that I can't deal with it myself, or that there is hope at all. I live with my boyfriend of three years, his eight year old daughter, our one year old little girl, and we're expecting a little boy in April. Pregnancy means I have to quit my meds, which has been like a rollercoaster. I found out I was pregnant in the hospital when I couldn't stop throwing up after I send my boyfriend to jail for domestic battery. I quit going to therapy after this, being too ashamed to explain to her. I've been debating a lobotomy, or lobectomy I guess they perform now, after my kids are grown. I sometimes think it would be best for everyone. I'm a pill hoarder. Especially now that I can't take my meds, I still fill them and keep a stockpile. It's been like this ever since I was 13, except then it was pain and sleeping pills. It's very hard being pregnant this time, I've battled eating disorders before, and I have mixed feelings about the fact that I'm finally putting on weight with this pregnancy. Also, I can't take my meds, can't drink, and can't self-injure. It feels like I'm buried in a hole right now. But I know life will go on. That is fact. I just hope I can deal with it without hurting everyone around me.

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