I hear what you say, Tiglibud, that sometimes you need to care for yourself. You can't be drained all the time, and I think we need to be cautious to
protect against being taken advantage of. I know sometimes I'm desperate to trust, to make up for lost time, and I rush into relationships, or
just [igiving][/i].
Littlebird- Amen. But I do think loving yourself is necessary. God is in us too. We don't love Him wholly if we choose not to love ourselves. Given, none of our love is whole and perfect like his.
I took a serious blow two weeks ago. I had applied to work with a Christian organization with people going through withdrawal. It's something I've become involved with in the poorest area of Canada, and I wanted to go overseas and give everything, everyday, not just go downtown, serve for a few hours and go home.
My worst fears came true.
I was told I'm "unstable" and therefore cannot be, in good conscience, placed in a high risk environment.
I'm not diagnosed BPD, i've been through DBT and i'm on moodstabilizers commonly used for bpd, so that label wasn't even on my application. I was honest with them that I can take things to heart, get anxious and am currently managing some of it with meds, but it's best managed by being in a community.
I wanted to give everything and I was told I couldn't because I'm broken, and it might just break me more. But that's the life I know. The world breaks me, the spirit builds me up. What else do I know to ask for?
It took me two years to find the courage to fill our an application, because I was afraid someone would find me out, tell me to stop trying, i'm too screwed.
Ofcourse that's not what they said, not really. Just 'not at this time,' and in a compassionate way. They were good. I still think they're wrong.
I still think they're wrong, yet part of me wants to stop trying.
Sometimes we need to heal some before we give like we want to. What a lesson.
You know the serenity prayer? Prayer for serenity to accept what we can't change, courage to change what we can, wisdom to know the difference?
Yeah. It's breaking my heart right now.
sorry if i took the thread on a tangent. i don't know if that messes with server ettiquite? please tell me if it does.
FAITHOPEACE.
Littlebird- Amen. But I do think loving yourself is necessary. God is in us too. We don't love Him wholly if we choose not to love ourselves. Given, none of our love is whole and perfect like his.
I took a serious blow two weeks ago. I had applied to work with a Christian organization with people going through withdrawal. It's something I've become involved with in the poorest area of Canada, and I wanted to go overseas and give everything, everyday, not just go downtown, serve for a few hours and go home.
My worst fears came true.
I was told I'm "unstable" and therefore cannot be, in good conscience, placed in a high risk environment.
I'm not diagnosed BPD, i've been through DBT and i'm on moodstabilizers commonly used for bpd, so that label wasn't even on my application. I was honest with them that I can take things to heart, get anxious and am currently managing some of it with meds, but it's best managed by being in a community.
I wanted to give everything and I was told I couldn't because I'm broken, and it might just break me more. But that's the life I know. The world breaks me, the spirit builds me up. What else do I know to ask for?
It took me two years to find the courage to fill our an application, because I was afraid someone would find me out, tell me to stop trying, i'm too screwed.
Ofcourse that's not what they said, not really. Just 'not at this time,' and in a compassionate way. They were good. I still think they're wrong.
I still think they're wrong, yet part of me wants to stop trying.
Sometimes we need to heal some before we give like we want to. What a lesson.
You know the serenity prayer? Prayer for serenity to accept what we can't change, courage to change what we can, wisdom to know the difference?
Yeah. It's breaking my heart right now.
sorry if i took the thread on a tangent. i don't know if that messes with server ettiquite? please tell me if it does.
FAITHOPEACE.
