The Private Room

taking the negative and turning it into positive

feeds@yuku.com (gefers) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:48:50 GMT

So much has happened in the last month. My fiancee left me after a night of rage that put me in jail. We were apart for a couple of weeks when she called and said maybe in a couple of months we could try to be together. She wanted me to be better and then we could be together. I tried to get her to go to therapy together but she said i was the one with the problem and didn't want to do any of the work to make our relationship better. I decided she didn't care enough and felt like she...

who's herd of this?

feeds@yuku.com (vicky1978) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:32:20 GMT

Has anyone herd of cygnet hospital?

quotes that fit

feeds@yuku.com (a sinking soul) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:58:29 GMT

Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again. I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts to much to hold on anymore. Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy. I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own. Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way...

Dont know who or what to beleieve anymore. Total confusion

feeds@yuku.com (k9pon) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:12:39 GMT

I havent posted for a long while, but right now I am so confused and a bit at my wits end. This whole situation I am in is driving me mad one person saying one thing and another saying quite the opposite. I have really had such a shit year one way and another and it shows signs of getting worse not better.

Ok , the scenario is that earlier on in the year I had to have my wisdom teeth out and significant damage was caused. I am 45 years of age and the operation was very bad. I...

exhausted and cant go on

feeds@yuku.com (vicky1978) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:52:23 GMT

Im so exhasted.Like all the time. Is that normal with bpd. My head also hurts so much. im trying to be strong for everyone as im married and have a little boy. But some times i just want to give up and die. I dont have much help from my mental health team. All i want is the proper help. ive been struggling for years. I dont think i can take any more. I hate myself so much. Everything about me is ugly. HELP

WEIRDEST DREAM EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD - can anyone relate!?

feeds@yuku.com (heavy heart) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:56:45 GMT

hiya my bpd fam,

i really felt the need to tell you about a very odd, lucid dream i had last night (or this morning, rather)... i was honestly contemplating whether to share it or not, because people may just think i'm extremely weird, lol... and i'm always seen as quite odd to people, but i know that everyone here doesn't...

My worst fear has come true.

feeds@yuku.com (gefers) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:18:16 GMT

My fiancee left me. She always told me i was worrying over nothing that she wasn't going anywhere. She has decided she wants a quiet normal life. I cant stop thinking about her. I have been a mess for a couple of days now. I can't trust in anything right now. I love her so much and hate her at the same time. I don't know what to do with out her and i have never felt so alone and betrayed , not to mention abandoned and rejected. I know things were hard and she could never...

UGH

feeds@yuku.com (Kat21) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:12:54 GMT

I JUST WISH I COULD FEEL SOMETHING WITHOUT THE AID OF ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. im constantly at this low blah feeling. i feel like its hopeless. i was on zoloft for two years all it did was make me gain 20 pounds and sleep all the time and get horrible headaches. i hate drugs. i just want this to go away. why cant i be normal??????? my friends dont understand. they think i should just stop being so selfish and carry on like the rest of us do. ITS NOT THAT EASY i dont even know if i have borderline...

I need help making a decision

feeds@yuku.com (Kat21) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:25:56 GMT

Okay so I have been diagnosed with PMDD (pre-menstrual dysmorphic disorder) and I have had it since I was 19 ( I am 21) and I have not been diagnosed with Borderline Personality but I match allllllll the symptoms of it so I consider myself a Borderline. Even when I am not pms-ing I am depressed, anxious, happy and sad randomly thruout a day, i cant concentrare on anything, i change my mind so much, im extremely impulsive, e.t.c.

so i moved to LA five months ago to pursue my dream of...

Blargh im going to try not to ramble...

feeds@yuku.com (begle) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:51:01 GMT

I basically dont know what to do, Im 19 years old, been recentaly diagnosed with BPD, being told was one of the best and worst days, It was a relief to be told that there was somthinbg for what i was, somthing that made my horrid self seem validated, but it also felt like a death sentance. I have struggled with substance and alcohol abuse scince i was 13 and have two suicide attempts under my belt. I have been in concilling scince I was 17 and am currently on a course of Phychotherapy,...

New Here (again)

feeds@yuku.com (KimMisery) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:07:23 GMT

I tried to become a part of this community during a very crazy time in my life a few months ago but I guess I wasn't ready. I got some nice replies but just couldn't deal with it at the time so I'm trying it again. I have a very hard time with anyone being nice to me Unfortunately it's still a very crazy time. I'm a 45-yr old, American living in the UK with my husband. Although I've lived here for three years, I don't know a single person so I'm very...

New here... exhausted, hurting, want to change, don't know how

feeds@yuku.com (Shelly) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:44:16 GMT

Hello.

In the last few days, I've come to realize I'm borderline, and my emotions have been cycling ever since. On one hand, I'm glad to finally see what's wrong with me--the diagnostic criteria for BPD is like a script of my life. For the first time in my life, I'm embracing the idea of therapy, I'm ready to fight to help myself, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to feel like life is worth living. But on the other hand, I'm COMPLETELY overwhelmed...

maddness in all its glory

feeds@yuku.com (fefi68) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:22:20 GMT

how many more times will i spend in hospital with a tube stuck dow my throat feeding me nutrients that i need to stay alive. How many more suicide attempts before i die. when will this end? I have such an overwhelming need to self destrucct, i am so out of control it scares the hell out of me. i dont know but when im lying there after an od waiting to die willing my bloody heart to stop beating its like no you need to suffer more and i will keep you alive and you will suffer every tortureous...

I am new here and I am hope to get some form of support group online.

feeds@yuku.com (bpdkel) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:31:02 GMT

Hi everyone,

I am new to this website and I am hoping it is something that will help me deal with my bpd better abd have a normal life. I am 27, have been diagnosed with bpd since I was 20...so it has been 7 years now. I have been better since I have to say but somehow, I find myself sliding back into the deep despair time and time again. I have been having increasing episodes and had a really crazy one yest. night.

Over the 7 years, I have had 3 serious relationships...

one more crazy post before i head to bed

feeds@yuku.com (DissolvedGirl278) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:40:01 GMT

my mom told me a few days ago, that the reason she had me was because she was tired of having abortions. she had two already, and decided hey what the hell why don't i have this one instead. at first i just felt kinda of hurt and shocked when she told me this. i always felt as a child she never really wanted me, but to hear this makes me feel i was right all along. i'm so angry and i feel gyped. not once in my 20 years of life did i experience something good, or live through a moment...

Animals

feeds@yuku.com (DissolvedGirl278) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:04:25 GMT

Does anyone else here feel they can bonds with their pets in a way they can't with other people? it sounds crazy but all i know it that i've never felt so much love (without any the hate and distrust!!) for any person they way i've felt for my cat. she makes me feel loved, always, that i'm always her favorite person in the house. she doesn't lie to me, betray me, or do anything behind my back. even when she destroys something in the house and causes some huge trouble,...

hating my psychiatrist

feeds@yuku.com (DissolvedGirl278) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:13:58 GMT

today i went to see my psychiatrist, and i'm really frustrated all she did was up my dosages. the lexapro and buspar are doing nothing for depression and anxiety, but she is still insisting on them, and when i asked for a xanax and a mood stabilizer she told me that i "didn't want to get into that stuff. do i need to have a panic attack and try to commit suicide before i can get something that can help me?? if no one ever listens to me how am i supposed to get better? i'm so...

SO extemely depressed now again - need to vent & tell you what's happened -

feeds@yuku.com (heavy heart) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:55:15 GMT

So as most of you know, i was in a deep bipolar depression for a while, and i've started to feel a little better now......but i need to vent about my terrible terrible day yesterday....(it's not going to be short)....but i'm going to be depressed for a while now again and i figured i could talk about what happened.....this may not be as relevant to BPD as it is to my asperger's syndrome, but this is a plain example of how i'm not...

please, help me be ok with being alone

feeds@yuku.com (trialsntribulations) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:13:48 GMT

My parents went on holiday and they will be gone until next Sunday.

I thought I was going to be okay and when they first left, I was excited to have the house to myself. I go back to school (college) Sunday evening and then I have to come home Thursday to take care of my pets. I have food, entertainment, a comfy bed and things I need to do.

But I don't want to do any of them.

I feel like I am constantly on the verge of tears. I want to call someone and talk...

jealousy-BPD or my own glitch?

feeds@yuku.com (DissolvedGirl278) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:46:07 GMT

One of the most difficult things i struggle with is my EXTREME jealousy. I become jealous over things that i'm afraid to admit to other because they sound so crazy! I just always assumed im just the jealous type, but lately it occured to me to ask if anyone else here find its caused from BPD? Recently l've cut out all my best friend from my life (permanently) because i couldn't stand that they had loving bf's, and i do not. I'm jealous of my dad because he's getting...