General Messages

Update and Sorry I've been gone so long

feeds@yuku.com (blue eyed teddy bear) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:39:16 GMT

Sorry I haven't been around in a long time. I think about all of you quite often but with no internet at home it is hard to get online very often.

Here is what is going on in my life right now. We are having serious financial problems at the moment so my husband is working in Texas (about 1200 miles from home. I'm in Minnesota.) and he's been in El Paso Texas for the past month. We have no idea when he will be returning, possibly not until spring. Which leaves me at home...

update on fings........gud and bad .....

feeds@yuku.com (gemz666) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:09:16 GMT

hey guys
well i avent bin on in.. well ages, so thought id say hi and let u kno the mess of wats bin goin on, but also sum gud news.
well firstly the gud news, i passed my driving test, FINALLY, 2nd attempted, so im well pleased, its givin me a new independence. so thats the gud news...
now the abd stuff. urghhhh.. well as sum of u may kno as ive spoken of ehr b4, i had a best mate, who was my everyfin, she kept me alive throu so mch and i clung 2 her soo mch, well as sum kno...

Am I a total idiot!?

feeds@yuku.com (dunamez) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:59:26 GMT

Hi all,
please can somebody give me another perspective on this before my head explodes! I went out with this bloke for 2yrs, he was the love of my life and he finished things because he wasn't ready for a relationship, shortly after his best friend raped me and we lost touch, then this year on my birthday (18months after th split) he got in touch and we met up, all the feelings were still there and he seemed to really want to give things another go, he talked alot about how he'd...

Going Through Grief and Loss

feeds@yuku.com (tytybaby) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:27:34 GMT

Hi all! Sorry I just joined and popped in and starting off the bat with something negative but it is hurting me so badly inside. I have isolated myself from face to face relationships mostly, so I really have most of my friends here online. My ex who is also my neighbor and great friend, told me a couple weeks ago he had lung cancer. I quit smoking. I thought I would have some time but he went soooo fast!! He died last night, I just found out this afternoon. I didnt get to say goodbye....

Inactive

feeds@yuku.com (Qelyn) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:32:47 GMT

Hey guys sorry I have been sort of inactive lately.... My mom is in town for a visit so I have been pretty busy.....

We played a soccer game tonight, we won 11 to 1..... I scored 6 of those points with 3 goals..... It was an awesome night for me.....

Q

new pic

feeds@yuku.com (myriad15) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:34:56 GMT

self portrait

New and Looking for Help

feeds@yuku.com (susanl1956) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:01:08 GMT

After years of being pretty messed up I'm finally admitting I need help. I've never been diagnosed, but always figured with my mood swings I'm bipolar. My youngest daughter just told me to check out BPD, and something just clicked. It sure seems to fit how my head feels most of the time. I've actually made an appointment for counseling but despite a suicide attempt this past week, they can't see me until Nov 4th. I really wanted to say 'hey, hope I'm alive by...

i found out

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:59:21 GMT

last night that my mom has a brain tumor.
the doctors think it is benign but it
it's causing her to have seizures
so either she'll have to undergo radiation (and be really sick) or surgery (and have to shave her hair and have a scar)
i feel really bad because honestly in the back of my mind i thought when she had these "flashbacks" that she was faking...or making them appear worse than they were
it still feels somewhat unreal to me...
last night...

stupid, stupid, stupid!

feeds@yuku.com (Rylee) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:28:14 GMT

Every day almost, the voice in my head is yelling..."Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Something that I said or did that day comes to mind and I am mortified.

I am so embarrassed and Iwish that I could undo whatever it was
so that I will be able to face those people again.

But now I think that the "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" voice
is trying to calm the shame
by giving me the idea that "It is...

so tonight

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:47:31 GMT
i'm supposed to get a phone call from my ex.
i told him we need to discuss some things (i.e. the not texting me back, not feeling respected, needing my stuff back)
i want to compromise on these issues and set boundaries but all he ever says is "ok...or i don't know...or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)(geez! now who's the borderline here?!?!)
tonight i'm going to try and bring out his feelings and emotions and what he wants but he's not exactly helpful...

Car accident

feeds@yuku.com (Qelyn) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:16:03 GMT
Well unfortunately I got into a car accident this afternoon...... I had my kids with me..... No one was seriously hurt but my car was totaled....

Meh

Q

Borderline Personality Disorder petition needs your signature!

feeds@yuku.com (bpdvictoria) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:55:43 GMT

Help us Bring Borderline Personality Disorder into the light!
Please sign this petition to support changing the name and designation of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the next publication of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - 5th edition (DSM-V).

Sign it and pass it on...

another nightmare

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 08:43:17 GMT
i'm up early cause i had another nightmare.

i'm sick of these nightmares
they aren't what other people would consider "nightmares" i don't guess

most of my nightmares involve being abandoned
and i didn't have them much until my ex and i started dating (i know, i talk about him all the time, but i think he's a big part of why i feel bad)
i used to tell him i'd...

Oops!

feeds@yuku.com (scrip50) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:02:29 GMT
Well after ten months virtually symptom free I can feel depression creeping in. Rapid change in ability to stay focused and motivated. I am already seeing my treating team with more frequency and I really don't feel good. Depression has always been my primary symptom and the MDD was my first dx. Trying so hard to keep it in focus. I know that this despair is not related to any incident or life circumstance just a shift in the chemical balance in my brain. But it just feels so...

numb

feeds@yuku.com (kat sprat) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 06:25:53 GMT
hello, im back , my first proper post since ive been back from london, well, i guess for those who dont know , im attempting a new direction to which is working at the moment. Ive decided, enough of feeling s***, and self obsessed, like booh hoo, my whole world is pain and suffering. Im angry at myself for that, so ive deicided to keep it all in, not to talk about it anymore, and its working, for the first time in a long while, i was laughing my ass off, and having fun, despite getting sad...

help

feeds@yuku.com (sammcgee) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 05:16:04 GMT

new to this diagnosis too, but 49. It is horrible for me, no one understands and thinks that i am just an emotional selfish baby. If only they understood the pain i feel inside. So much that i cannot imagine living like this for the next 40 years or so, i stay alive cause i have 4 kids that i would screw up badly if i killed myself. I have burned up all the friendships i have, just a boyfriend that is hanging on but i am sure i will burn him up too. Life blows. Sam (f)
...

Fitness Challenge OMG

feeds@yuku.com (Qelyn) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:09:19 GMT
So I have a friend I go to the gym with, our husbands work together and they also go to the gym together..... Well they keep telling us we are "sandbagging" or not really working out hard, always teasing us saying that women tend to take it easy at the gym where as they work hard...... So I got a call last night from my friend, apparently her and her husband were talking last night and wanted to do a fitness challenge us against the husbands..... My husband thinks the plan is to be...

has anyone learned anything to help mend broken relationships?

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:27:56 GMT
of any kind.
family, relationships, friends?

i tend to get in fights with people (obviously) but i don't know how to fix it and comfort them?
help?

Fighting with family

feeds@yuku.com (raychal19) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:53:43 GMT
My mom hasn't left me alone now for about 4 hours and wont stop....
Ive tried to control myself but I wound up just yelling and now bed ridden
crying in my room with a cut on my leg Its so frustrating trying to deal with
my job let alone my BPD. All i want is my mom to be happy with how hard
ive been working on myself and working on trying to cope... she thinks that I
spend too muchy time on here when...

this is definitely a BPD swing but...

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:45:45 GMT
i just thought about something that really aggravates me.
when i was looking at the statistics on BPD a few minutes ago i noticed that only 2% of adults have this disorder.
when i finally open up to someone and tell them i have BPD this is usually how the conversation goes:

me: i have BPD
them: what the hell is that?
me: (i tell them)
them: oh! i know all kind of people who have that (or i think i have that)

instead...