Self Injury

self harm and relationships

feeds@yuku.com (hayley1509) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:45:21 GMT

hi, i am a 22 year old woman and have recently been diagnosed with BPD. i have self harmed since i was about 15 (mainly cutting with a razor blade but also slapping and punching myself and banging my head against the wall). for me one of the hardest things about self harm is the way it affects your relationships, especially romantic relationships. my current boyfriend simply doesnt understand my cutting and is so unsympathetic and unempathetic that it is unbelievable. he says to me that if i...

I feel sad "trigger

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:21:45 GMT

lately i am not doing so well at all because i made few mistakes and people don't care or they are mad at me, I know where i am not wanted i don't feel safe here anymore I am just in such termoil. I am deperessed and i do have sucide ideals i guess that's all i am allowed to say, this forum failed me, because i feel they are ganging up on me just to get rid of me.

how many times i got to be sorry and f000 rubbing in for godess sake.I am so angery at people why i...

Is Tattooing a form of SI?

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:05:22 GMT

i was wondering is getting a tattoo is another form of SI? I'v been having trouble feeling any emotion so i have resorted to cutting my self again. I just can't seem to stop cutting myself. I feel so depressed with this new medication lithium which i always have to get blood tests for, which i am sick of it all.

I'v been trying to following my religious belief of the wiccan. most people just call me a witch. I pray to my alter to make negative energies to go away which...

Lonely

feeds@yuku.com (rocksrock) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:44:47 GMT

Hi guys.
I am feeling to lonely. More so at night. That is when things go down hill.
I have trouble sleeping because I am coming off my quitiapean.
It has made me put on so much weight I am so fat.
But I cut FAT into my arm the other night..
I have cut for a while and have started up again.
I feel lonely and loss.
So yeah... feeling sad lost and SIing agian. Woohoo.

is it strange

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:38:42 GMT

that there is one scar i don't want to get rid of?
i cut it in the shape of a heart and i really don't want rid of it...
i guess i think of it as a "battle scar"

i want to get rid of the others...such as people's names and other words but not the heart
is that weird?

Pictures Of Scars, Before and After using Bio Oil and Dove Summer glow Body lotion (fair to normal skin)

feeds@yuku.com (myriad15) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 05:02:44 GMT

applying both twice daily since july

just for fun

feeds@yuku.com (thesunnyside17) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:46:54 GMT

the last time i cut was about 2 years ago but i think about it alot but i won't allow myself to do it
some of my scars are really embarrassing (i.e. people's initals)
i used to do it so much that i just started doing it just because it was something to do, it became fun or me.
so i was just wondering did this happen to anyone else?

si and anger

feeds@yuku.com (k899) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:25:28 GMT

I've been hitting myself when I get really mad-since I was a kid. After the bruises around my eyes became too noticeable, I started hitting my legs. I'm sure others understand, I actually feel better when I feel the bruises. A few months ago, my dad said something that upset me on the way to work. I can go weeks and months w/o doing it, and then there it is again. This time, I was hitting my face with both fists-it's good I only have decent aim with my right side. I was...

I messed up

feeds@yuku.com (BPDpip) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:08:51 GMT

Yep bad day. Incredibly emotional couldn't keep it in didn't want to be healthy sometimes I get so tired of trying to be healthy. Cut, not too bad just a few but still it's been a few months since I cut and I blew it tonight. Felt too emotional, felt out of control couldn't stop my head from having wacked perceptions wanted to say f the world, wanted to bleed and not stop, only a couple of swipes, that counts for something right? I am so ashamed. I hate when I get like this...

Dreams

feeds@yuku.com (Borederlinedenial) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:27:55 GMT

I have vivid dreams. At times I'll drift into sleep without loosing conciousness and I don't realize I'm dreaming.

Most of my dreams involve real life situations, but in most of them, I end up injured or unable to control the circumstances around me. They can be quite terrifying and I have a difficult time waking up from them. And then when I think I have woken up, I'm still sleeping. I can move in my dreams, but only if I force myself to, I have to scream...

So. I'm me.

feeds@yuku.com (Borederlinedenial) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:00:14 GMT

Basically I've been struggling with self harm for a number of years. It waxes and wanes depending on my overall mood, circumstances, pain or frustration levels. I can go months without, and days with. It comes and goes and tends to pop up whenever I need "relief"

My leg is rather scarred right now. Regretting it, since I know the next man in my life is going to do the whole "omg... whats wrong with you??" and run away. It's not something I'm proud of....

Terror

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:17:31 GMT

I am not sure what to do or where i should go for help. I feel alone and scared to death because i'v been having horrorible night terrors, also they happen at daylight too. I just needed someone, my mom doesn't understand and my dad yells at me when i wake my mom up when i am scared. I am scared to sleep with the lights off, i know this sounds really stupid. It's been hard for my family to understand, nor any doctors for...

Am I a horrible mom-triggering

feeds@yuku.com (pixiewillow) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:08:10 GMT

I have been struggling lately and have been cutting again and my 8 year old son found me in the bathroom, full of blood with a box cutter in my hand and crying. He started crying and asking me why I was hurting myself. He should have been in bed but he got up to get a drink of water. I didn't know what to say to him. He ofcourse told my husband and he had me in to see my doc right away and now I am on an antipsychotic med. My poor son is very sensitive in the first place, but now he...

feeling the pressure to harm

feeds@yuku.com (chris3xp) — Mon, 11 May 2009 09:33:06 GMT

ive been fighting with myself for the last week, every now and then i get the urge to self harm and ive been winning lately but its getting rougher with every battle conqured i feel the pressure of a battle i just cant win i tend to self harm alot after fighting the urges soo many times straight, its hard tho cause im all alone i dont have anyone to come over and help me out ive been fighting alone for awhile and i guess ive come to grips that maybe i just cant do it alone. Im scared that i...

to 'cover scars'

feeds@yuku.com (myriad15) — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:22:40 GMT

there's a moisturising/self tanning product called

DOVE (brand name)
summer glow
body lotion
fair to normal skin

it evens out the skin surface colouring masking scar tissue to a point....

I am such a failure

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Sun, 03 May 2009 07:27:21 GMT

Hi,
I needed to talk to someone, before i go insane.... i think i am already there. I did something so stupid, I slashed my arms with army knife, there's blood everywhere. my mom tried to calm me down after i screamed at the top of my lungs because i am living in utter fear

Scared to Death "may Trigger"

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:37:12 GMT

I have BPD, MPD, and maybe Psyhizofrena if i spelled that correctly. Oh well anyways I had my gall bladder surgery, i seem fine for a while, but i started to see things at night or in the shadows people or animals with red eyes or yellow that come out of the shadows asking screaming help me help me damn you help me they scream. I get so scared when they come out because their faces melt off and their skull crush on in it self as it falls to dust. I scream my head off and my mom rushes to me...

BPD Resources

feeds@yuku.com (Atchoo) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:32:18 GMT

Hey out there in internet land! Im just wondering if anyone has any online reading material that they use for help, understanding, and healing.

I self-injure in different ways than most Borderlines... ??

feeds@yuku.com (heavy heart) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 12:17:49 GMT

I have a question about self-injury. I know most Borderlines do self-injure: cut, burn, scratch, etc. I being a Borderline as well, am actually one who has never cut myself or anything like it. Is there any other Borderline here who doesn't cut or anything? The only things I do and have done to physically hurt myself was when I abused drugs and alcohol for years and also when I get frustrated during a terrible mood swing, sometimes I'll forcefully hit myself (usually in my head or...

a failure

feeds@yuku.com (goodgirl) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:07:50 GMT

the other night i recieved a call from my husband, he said he was on his way home..this was 6:10pm. (this should have put him home at 6:30) at 7:20 he called again and said he stopped in at a friends place and was going to be late. (wasn't he already?) I was not stewing the whole time, was reading until about 9pm. When i realized the time, it was like emotions happened to me, and involuntary tears were rolling down my face...thoughts of cutting my wrists replayed like a movie i...