Borderline Personality Today Forum

taking the negative and turning it into positive

feeds@yuku.com (gefers) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:48:50 GMT

So much has happened in the last month. My fiancee left me after a night of rage that put me in jail. We were apart for a couple of weeks when she called and said maybe in a couple of months we could try to be together. She wanted me to be better and then we could be together. I tried to get her to go to therapy together but she said i was the one with the problem and didn't want to do any of the work to make our relationship better. I decided she didn't care enough and felt like she...

Update and Sorry I've been gone so long

feeds@yuku.com (blue eyed teddy bear) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:39:16 GMT

Sorry I haven't been around in a long time. I think about all of you quite often but with no internet at home it is hard to get online very often.

Here is what is going on in my life right now. We are having serious financial problems at the moment so my husband is working in Texas (about 1200 miles from home. I'm in Minnesota.) and he's been in El Paso Texas for the past month. We have no idea when he will be returning, possibly not until spring. Which leaves me at home...

Starting DBT today

feeds@yuku.com (susanl1956) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:55:27 GMT

I went to my first counseling apt on Tuesday. She told me that she does think I'm borderline with possible bi-polar. She wants to see me once a week. However, due to my work schedule I can't get in to her until Dec 7th. I'm going to talk to her today and see if she can work something else out. I don't want to wait a month. but she also told me she wants me to come to group therapy today where they are working on DBT. I'm not thrilled with the idea of a whole group....

on seraquel, again...

feeds@yuku.com (whynot) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:31:58 GMT

I'm in the process of getting a new meds doctor, because the one I currently have told me that I have too many problems and probably can't be helped. Really professional, right? Well next week I see a new doctor, but right now the old one is prescribing me seraquel AGAIN, I've been on it 3 times, and every time I was taken off of it for having bad side effects. Even on the low doses all I can think of is ways to kill myself (I'm not suicidal, it's a side effect, but VERY...

who's herd of this?

feeds@yuku.com (vicky1978) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:32:20 GMT

Has anyone herd of cygnet hospital?

i need someone to relate to

feeds@yuku.com (Kat21) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:39:54 GMT

so im 21 years old and recently moved back in with my parents. i dropped out of school 3 times and have never held a job for more than 2 months. i feel like a worthless piece of sh*t. my dad and mom came in my room at 8:30 saying its time to get up!! PLEASE GET UP. and they gave me a list of things to do today. i know i cant do anything right now. i popped a xanax hopefully that will make me feel better but i HATE taking medication. im at the f*ck it point. today my mom yelled "youre...

I feel sad "trigger

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:21:45 GMT

lately i am not doing so well at all because i made few mistakes and people don't care or they are mad at me, I know where i am not wanted i don't feel safe here anymore I am just in such termoil. I am deperessed and i do have sucide ideals i guess that's all i am allowed to say, this forum failed me, because i feel they are ganging up on me just to get rid of me.

how many times i got to be sorry and f000 rubbing in for godess sake.I am so angery at people why i...

quotes that fit

feeds@yuku.com (a sinking soul) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:58:29 GMT

Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again. I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts to much to hold on anymore. Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy. I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own. Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way...

Dont know who or what to beleieve anymore. Total confusion

feeds@yuku.com (k9pon) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:12:39 GMT

I havent posted for a long while, but right now I am so confused and a bit at my wits end. This whole situation I am in is driving me mad one person saying one thing and another saying quite the opposite. I have really had such a shit year one way and another and it shows signs of getting worse not better.

Ok , the scenario is that earlier on in the year I had to have my wisdom teeth out and significant damage was caused. I am 45 years of age and the operation was very bad. I...

are they ruined?

feeds@yuku.com (amarnold) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:13:21 GMT

I sat with my 8 yr old daughter tonight as she tried to fall asleep and we were just talking and somehow we ended on the subject of step-mothers. She said she wanted one and I told her that the only way she could have a step-mom was if me ans her dad divorced and then he re-married. I continued by saying"You wouldn't want me and daddy to break up would you?". To my surprise she said sometimes. She started to cry and said she had a secret to tell me but she was afraid to tell...

I want to die.

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:37:56 GMT

hi,

i am so depressed and no matter how many spells i cast to protect myself nothing helps, i feel like a monster is taking me down and as i scream no one ever looks up I tried to talk to my mom but she's always busy with something else around the house, so my fate is to suffer alone which i don't mind. the medication is not working anymore. my lithum is not working anymore, i know i people here won't believe me that i want to die and i am completely nothing so they...

update on fings........gud and bad .....

feeds@yuku.com (gemz666) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:09:16 GMT

hey guys
well i avent bin on in.. well ages, so thought id say hi and let u kno the mess of wats bin goin on, but also sum gud news.
well firstly the gud news, i passed my driving test, FINALLY, 2nd attempted, so im well pleased, its givin me a new independence. so thats the gud news...
now the abd stuff. urghhhh.. well as sum of u may kno as ive spoken of ehr b4, i had a best mate, who was my everyfin, she kept me alive throu so mch and i clung 2 her soo mch, well as sum kno...

Am I a total idiot!?

feeds@yuku.com (dunamez) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:59:26 GMT

Hi all,
please can somebody give me another perspective on this before my head explodes! I went out with this bloke for 2yrs, he was the love of my life and he finished things because he wasn't ready for a relationship, shortly after his best friend raped me and we lost touch, then this year on my birthday (18months after th split) he got in touch and we met up, all the feelings were still there and he seemed to really want to give things another go, he talked alot about how he'd...

exhausted and cant go on

feeds@yuku.com (vicky1978) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:52:23 GMT

Im so exhasted.Like all the time. Is that normal with bpd. My head also hurts so much. im trying to be strong for everyone as im married and have a little boy. But some times i just want to give up and die. I dont have much help from my mental health team. All i want is the proper help. ive been struggling for years. I dont think i can take any more. I hate myself so much. Everything about me is ugly. HELP

Newly Diagnosed... How do I tell my husband? Help?

feeds@yuku.com (cassiel) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:35:34 GMT

I've always been tortured and had problems. Some which were obvious to my husband, others which I've been able to hide from him... Recently, my symptoms have completely taken over my life to the point that I had no alternative but to seek help.

I hid my appointments from my husband, I just couldn't admit to him, like always, how bad everything is. My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder/Social Anxiety Disorder, and...

Is Tattooing a form of SI?

feeds@yuku.com (Syndica) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:05:22 GMT

i was wondering is getting a tattoo is another form of SI? I'v been having trouble feeling any emotion so i have resorted to cutting my self again. I just can't seem to stop cutting myself. I feel so depressed with this new medication lithium which i always have to get blood tests for, which i am sick of it all.

I'v been trying to following my religious belief of the wiccan. most people just call me a witch. I pray to my alter to make negative energies to go away which...

WEIRDEST DREAM EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD - can anyone relate!?

feeds@yuku.com (heavy heart) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:56:45 GMT

hiya my bpd fam,

i really felt the need to tell you about a very odd, lucid dream i had last night (or this morning, rather)... i was honestly contemplating whether to share it or not, because people may just think i'm extremely weird, lol... and i'm always seen as quite odd to people, but i know that everyone here doesn't...

My worst fear has come true.

feeds@yuku.com (gefers) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:18:16 GMT

My fiancee left me. She always told me i was worrying over nothing that she wasn't going anywhere. She has decided she wants a quiet normal life. I cant stop thinking about her. I have been a mess for a couple of days now. I can't trust in anything right now. I love her so much and hate her at the same time. I don't know what to do with out her and i have never felt so alone and betrayed , not to mention abandoned and rejected. I know things were hard and she could never...

Lonely

feeds@yuku.com (rocksrock) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:44:47 GMT

Hi guys.
I am feeling to lonely. More so at night. That is when things go down hill.
I have trouble sleeping because I am coming off my quitiapean.
It has made me put on so much weight I am so fat.
But I cut FAT into my arm the other night..
I have cut for a while and have started up again.
I feel lonely and loss.
So yeah... feeling sad lost and SIing agian. Woohoo.

...what do i do?

feeds@yuku.com (whynot) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:18:07 GMT

I'm 21. And yeah, I need help with a lot of things, because people do things for me instead of helping me because it's easier for them to just skip dealing with me and get it done themselves. I got approved for disability because I can't work, but I'm living in the house I grew up in being abused. I DON'T want to be here. It's toxic to be here.

Every morning I wake up, go out of my room, and see where i was thrown into a door then strangled. I go upstairs, I...